It’s always a struggle for all parents to discipline their children. Now when you have teens instead of kids, the difficulty level just goes way up! Curfews help keep track of their day, so they’re home in time. But what do you do if they keep breaking it?
It is normal for a parent to want their child to have one or more friends. Parents usually do not mind if the friends of their child are not the most popular kids in school. Parents want their children to have several good friends in school. A problem arises if the child becomes friends with kids that the parents do not approve of. Parents would prefer that their child become friends who can be a good influence on their child.
One of the most common subjects of parent-child relationship strain is the curfew. Aside from the curfew laws imposed by different states, parents establish their own time and rules for curfews at home.
While many teenagers rebel at what they would usually call ‘unfair limitation,’ lots of parents still overlook the causes of such violation and disregard it plainly as they would think that their child is just on the ‘rebellious stage.’
A speaker on parenting, who is also a famous educator, has recently listed the most frequently asked questions that parents asked him throughout his career as an expert in his field. At the top of the list was what they should do if their child has bad friends. This concern was raised by parents at least twice as many times as the second most frequently asked question on his list.
Nowadays, parents try to use curfews as a form of instilling discipline onto their children. Luckily, for some households, these curfews can be effortlessly executed. But for others, it can be quite a challenge.
Why Are Curfews Important?
Curfews are the designated time at which children have to be home. They may face repercussions if ever they violate it.
Curfews have existed before as a safety measure for people living in a dangerous area and to avoid violence or unfortunate experiences. Through time, curfews became a parenting strategy to teach kids discipline and responsibility, especially at night.
Some parents find it challenging to make their children follow curfew because of peer pressure or poor time management. Although there are valid reasons that can hold back a child from going home on time, parents cannot help but worry, especially when their children are still out past curfew.
Tips & Tricks To Make Your Children More Prompt
No worries! We heard your problems, and we’re here to help. For parents struggling to make their children comply with established curfews, here are a few tips on how you can make it more fun and exciting.
Set Regular Family Time
Including a “family time” in your daily routine, especially at the end of the day, can help teenagers follow curfews more. You can watch a good movie together, eat with each other, or have a chill story session. These fun activities will remind your teenager to be present and make them look forward to going home and being there on the set family time.
Practice Time Management
It may not have a direct effect, but being keen on time management can significantly affect how one follows curfews. By practicing time-allotted activities at home, your teenager will learn to manage time wisely to follow their schedule in school or at work. This skill is essential in the daily grind. Starting to get adjusted at a young age will help them make it a habit.
To better encourage teenagers to follow curfews, why not try some incentives? Making teens follow curfews can be exhausting if they do not have any motivation for it. Having “rewards” for complying can be a great way to get them to it.
Allow Them To Be Independent
One common parenting mistake today is making your children very dependent on you. You are denying them the opportunity to be more resourceful, responsible, and accountable. By allowing them to be independent in the little things, their accountability in following curfews may also improve.
Inspire Respect, Not Fear
One issue in making teenagers follow curfews is the threat of punishment upon its violation. It is time for that mindset to end because the best way to make your children comply is by instilling their respect for you. If they go beyond the curfew, it is essential to peacefully and properly process it and not go all-out on them. The way you deal with it will deepen either their respect or hatred for you.
There you have it! These tips and tricks can make imposing curfews a lot easier for you and your growing youngsters. If you are still having trouble with it, talking it through might be a suitable solution too.
The adolescent years are probably the most challenging phase in a teenager’s life. It is the time they’ll defy the wishes of authority figures, disrespect other people, and bully their peers. Some might feel anger, while others might be a little bit self-destructive. As a teacher, you have your fair share in dealing with these teenagers. So, what can you do to address their defiance? Here are some tips on how you can handle your rebellious students.
Do not go easy on these people. Once you have established your classroom rules and regulations, make sure to stick to them and enforce various consequences upon violation. You must also not renege about the punishments that you are willing to give them. Once you do, they will call your bluff, and you will most likely lose your authority.
Focus On The Leader
Believe it or not, there are certain cliques present in the four walls of the classroom. Hence, when you face a group of rebellious individuals, do not waste your time dealing with each member of the group. The recommended strategy is to put your focus on the leader and be firm on him or her. Once you have solved the problem with this specific leader, the others tend to follow.
Another technique you can use is the divide and conquer approach. Try dividing these people physically by assigning them into different groups or by placing them in separate seats via a planned seating arrangement. This strategy will most likely prevent them from ganging up on other people or negatively feeding off each other.
We are in a fast-paced world where everything is instant: social media postings, microwaved meals, fast food chains, and more. Hence, when we face a series of life challenges, we tend to take the shortcut and solve the issue in a scurry. Unfortunately, handling individuals with disruptive behavior takes a long time. Be patient with them and do not lose your cool in case things do not go as planned.
Focus On One Particular Behavior
There are various ways to rebel, and it will be exhausting for you to try to solve all of these issues at the same time. What you can do is to choose one behavior that bothers you the most. From here, create an action plan that will address that particular behavior.
For example, your student doesn’t do homework every day, curses at everyone in school, and bullies the people around him or her. You have to decide which one you should focus on. Once this behavior is under control, you can then try solving another bothersome behavior.
It can be exhausting to be at the forefront of these cases. Therefore, if you feel tired and disappointed with yourself, do not isolate yourself. Instead, ask help from the people around you: the principal, your co-teachers, or even the parents of these teenagers. You will be surprised how much more effective it is to ask the support of these people.
Handling a rebellious teen is challenging. However, the most helpful way to address this problem is to find the perfect balance between empathy and firmness. Once you have established this, everything will be a lot easier.
Kids nowadays always have the instinct to check their phones minute by minute. They believe that the tweets, DMs, and personal messages they receive are so crucial that replying to them cannot wait until the next morning. As a parent, you might want to incorporate several control apps to help enforce your gadget curfew plan for your children. With these apps, you will be able to track their device usage, limit the time they spend on these gadgets, and block unsafe apps.
FamilyTime is an organized app that allows you to customize your gadget control strategy. This app has many features, such as the following:
- Geofencing where it will send alerts to your mobile phone whenever that particular gadget enters and leaves its control area
- Location tracking to monitor your child’s whereabouts
- Internet filters where you can block or limit the time spent of your child on a specific app
- Call and text monitor where you can check your kid’s current contact list and digital interaction with these people
The only downside with this app is that the free version only offers few features. If you want to access everything, you may opt to pay for its full version. It will cost you $27 for one device per year or $69 for five devices per year.
McAfee Safe Family
McAfee Safe Family is a useful gadget control app that promotes the digital safety of your children. Below are some of its best features.
- It lets you manage your child’s screen time by allowing you to arrange a daily time limit on specific applications.
- It has a “Pause Internet Usage” feature which you can access on your phone. It will let you have the power to impose a digital time-out whenever you think they’ve had enough usage for the time being.
- It also has a GPS tracker so that you can view your kid’s location in real-time.
- It also has an app blocker per category or a specific application.
- It also has an uninstall protection which prohibits your kid from uninstalling the control app in their gadgets.
Web Watcher is the best app if you are keen on keeping tabs on your child’s messaging activity. It will allow you to check their activities on various apps like Viber, Tiner, Kik, and WhatsApp. You will also have a copy of their phone history, including all deleted files like call logs, texts, web browsing activity, and photos.
Since it is considered invasive spyware, parents have to download Web Watcher outside official app stores.
Qustodio has the same features as other apps—location tracking, screen time limitations, and messaging tracker. However, what makes this app stand out is its device time limit option and panic button.
Most parent controls only have the ability to restrict certain apps. However, Qustodio can shut off an entire device on specific timeslots or once your child has reached their allowable screen time for the day. At the same time, it also places a panic button on the child’s phone, which can send emergency texts to several pre-determined contacts.
The digital age changes quickly. Hence, there might come a time that your children can bypass these apps through customer service requests, phone resets, or other tricks. Therefore, make sure to continually check up on it every month to ensure that it’s still useful as before.
Parents have a tendency to side with their children even if they go against the whole world. It is a parental instinct, and we all know that. No parent would want to see people condemning their child.
Aside from the protective instinct, parents would not readily admit that their child is a bully. But let us all think of what our child would become should this behavior continue. Before we think of the possible remedies for this, let us familiarize ourselves with the warning signs that your child is indeed becoming a school bully.
Your Child Is Showing Behavioral Issues At Home
Observe if your child has been questioning your authority lately. He or she could be disregarding parental orders or simple chores around the house. Your kid may be hot-headed and easily frustrated all the time. It is mostly a problem with discipline. Ask yourself if you are becoming a little more lenient when it comes to disciplining your child.
Their Friends Act Aggressively
If you notice that your child, together with his friends and other kids, has a habit of making fun of other children in public, then consider it as a warning sign. Does he encourage other kids to do that as well? Do you notice your child insulting other kids even some regard it as “child talk” or “just part of growing up”?
More often than not, his or her friends’ behavior will also mirror your child’s. If you, in any way, cannot stand to judge your child, then take notice of his or her friends. There are only two ways to describe behavior towards other kids. It is either good or bad.
Your Child Seems Disconnected From You
Ask yourself if the home your child is living in is friendly and warm. If there is violence at home, there is a high chance that the kids will become violent as well. The home environment is a significant factor in developing a child’s moral and social skills.
Your child may have a hard time communicating with you. You may notice that he is distant with you, as compared to what you see when he or she is with his or her friends.
You Do Not Notice Any Empathy
Notice how your child deals with his or her siblings or even animals. If your kid acts aggressively (grabs toys, kicks pets, or makes siblings cry), then it is a sign that he or she cannot manage his or her emotions correctly. He or she may also manifest this attitude outside the confines of your home.
Your Child Is Trying Hard To Be Popular
Children often talk about how their day at school went. Take note if your child seems obsessed about being cool and being noticed by many people at school. More often than not, they would brag about how they stood out and even comment on their weak classmates. Take this as a warning sign.
It is hard for parents to admit that their child is bullying other children in school. While this is a normal protective reaction, let us also put ourselves in the shoes of the parents of bullied children. We are our children’s correcting mechanism. Goodness emanates from us, parents, so our kids’ behavior should be our responsibility.
Bullying is a big problem, especially when you’re in school. They might abuse you physically by kicking, hitting, or pushing, or they might target your emotions by teasing, scaring, or calling names. Whatever method they use, there’s a significant possibility they’ll make you feel scared, hurt, or embarrassed. If you’re in this situation, what do you think is the best way to face this challenge? Here’s a therapists’ guide on dealing with your bullies.
Get A Buddy
Debbie Pincus MS LMHC insists that “Bullying is really just another form of abuse: it’s about kids using power to control other kids, sometimes with the intention to cause harm.” If you want to avoid getting bullied, look for a buddy who can accompany you in your free time. He or she can walk with you on the hallways, and they can also be there on the way to school, during breaks, or the times you usually meet your bully.
You can also lend a hand to someone getting bullied by being a buddy yourself. Should you experience these bullies hurting your said buddy, you can either stick up for them, ask the help of an adult, or tell the bully to stop.
“Bullies lose their power if you don’t cower. Deep down, they doubt they deserve your respect. They admire you for speaking with self-assurance and confidence. So when they bombard, do not counterpunch. Rather, win them over with your strong, firm, courteous demeanor,” shares Amy Copper Hakim.
So, how do you show your confidence to the other party? Here are the best ways to go about it:
- Stand tall and do not drop your shoulders
- Talk to the bully while looking at them straight in the eye
- Do not show any other unnecessary small movements
Tell An Adult
If you experience bullying in school, make sure to call the attention of both your teacher and parents. In the case of your teacher, he or she can use the specific school protocol for intervening. He or she has the authority to inform the parents of the offenders of what has been happening.
On the other hand, your parents can also help you with dealing with the bully. In case you’re not comfortable with going straight to the school administrators, they can be the bridge for you to be able to send the message to them. They can also be the ones who will approach the bully’s parents through calling or emailing in a non-confrontational way.
Remember, whenever you report a person or incidence, you have to be specific about the details of what happened for them to be able to act on it appropriately.
Take Martial Arts Lessons
realize that “There is no remorse or “just kidding.” The final hallmark of bullying behavior is the intent and knowledge that they can, and likely will, do it again and can purposely keep people on guard.” Paul Schwartzman, LMHC, MS, DAPA said. As a defense mechanism, you can consider taking Ju-Jitsu, Karate, Taekwondo, Judo, Aikido, Kung Fu, or something similar. This skill will not only give you an advantage during combat, but it’ll also boost your confidence and improve your physique. Bullies like to take on those individuals who they perceive as someone weaker than them. Hence, radiating a battle aura from these martial arts lessons can deter them.
If you’re not comfortable in enrolling in these lessons, you may opt to learn several self-defense moves.
- Kicking the groin will surprise the person and look embarrassed long enough to plan for a takedown or escape.
- You may also attack the area below the ribs called solar plexus or kick a knee to make them lose their balance.
- If the bully is pushing or grabbing you, you may yank one arm using your left hand and strike their elbow with the other. Once they feel dazed, you can then use your other hand to push away the other surrounding arm.
Ignore The Bully
The best way for your bully to stay away from you is for you to ignore them. Pretend that you do not hear them and walk away towards the other direction or to a safer place. Bullies want to receive a grand reaction from their meanness and teasing. Hence, acting as if you do not care about them might just put a stop to their behavior.
Know The Type Of Bully You’re Dealing With
There are various kinds of bullies out there. To be able to know what type of strategy to use, you first have to understand the type of bully you encounter.
- Verbal bullies are those who insult you non-stop, make jokes, and call names.
- Aggressive bullies are those who abuse you physically by kicking, hitting, punching, and pulling your hair.
- Emotional bullies are those who play with your feelings behind your back. These are the people who spread rumors about you or those who put a “kick me” sign on your back so that others will ridicule you.
According to Aaron Norton, LMHC, LMFT, “The effects of constantly being bullied are more than just psychological. Research now shows that there may be physical structural differences in the brains of adolescents who are regularly victimized, and this could increase the chance that they suffer from mental illness.” Not every suggestion will work for you. Do not lose hope if you try something, but nothing happens. Just stay consistent, and everything will fall into places eventually.
We all know that bullying is a bad thing. It is the act of intentionally hurting someone without a particular reason. The victims suffer not only in physical and emotional aspects but also are at risk with potential mental damage as well. It’s an awful thing that most young adults experience everywhere at school, online, and even at home. That explains the reason why bullies are to be blamed for their victims’ anxiety and depression, isolation, and self-destruction. However, psychology experts believe that bullies are also victims themselves. That their actions also depend on the variety of trauma they experienced once or twice in their lives.