A Therapist’s Guide On Dealing With Your Bully

Bullying is a big problem, especially when you’re in school. They might abuse you physically by kicking, hitting, or pushing, or they might target your emotions by teasing, scaring, or calling names. Whatever method they use, there’s a significant possibility they’ll make you feel scared, hurt, or embarrassed. If you’re in this situation, what do you think is the best way to face this challenge? Here’s a therapists’ guide on dealing with your bullies.

Get A Buddy

Debbie Pincus MS LMHC insists that “Bullying is really just another form of abuse: it’s about kids using power to control other kids, sometimes with the intention to cause harm.” If you want to avoid getting bullied, look for a buddy who can accompany you in your free time. He or she can walk with you on the hallways, and they can also be there on the way to school, during breaks, or the times you usually meet your bully.

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You can also lend a hand to someone getting bullied by being a buddy yourself. Should you experience these bullies hurting your said buddy, you can either stick up for them, ask the help of an adult, or tell the bully to stop.

Be Confident

“Bullies lose their power if you don’t cower. Deep down, they doubt they deserve your respect. They admire you for speaking with self-assurance and confidence. So when they bombard, do not counterpunch. Rather, win them over with your strong, firm, courteous demeanor,” shares Amy Copper Hakim.

So, how do you show your confidence to the other party? Here are the best ways to go about it:

  • Stand tall and do not drop your shoulders
  • Talk to the bully while looking at them straight in the eye
  • Do not show any other unnecessary small movements
  • Smile

Tell An Adult

If you experience bullying in school, make sure to call the attention of both your teacher and parents. In the case of your teacher, he or she can use the specific school protocol for intervening. He or she has the authority to inform the parents of the offenders of what has been happening.

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On the other hand, your parents can also help you with dealing with the bully. In case you’re not comfortable with going straight to the school administrators, they can be the bridge for you to be able to send the message to them. They can also be the ones who will approach the bully’s parents through calling or emailing in a non-confrontational way.

Remember, whenever you report a person or incidence, you have to be specific about the details of what happened for them to be able to act on it appropriately.

Take Martial Arts Lessons

realize that “There is no remorse or “just kidding.” The final hallmark of bullying behavior is the intent and knowledge that they can, and likely will, do it again and can purposely keep people on guard.” Paul Schwartzman, LMHC, MS, DAPA said. As a defense mechanism, you can consider taking Ju-Jitsu, Karate, Taekwondo, Judo, Aikido, Kung Fu, or something similar. This skill will not only give you an advantage during combat, but it’ll also boost your confidence and improve your physique. Bullies like to take on those individuals who they perceive as someone weaker than them. Hence, radiating a battle aura from these martial arts lessons can deter them.

If you’re not comfortable in enrolling in these lessons, you may opt to learn several self-defense moves.

  • Kicking the groin will surprise the person and look embarrassed long enough to plan for a takedown or escape.
  • You may also attack the area below the ribs called solar plexus or kick a knee to make them lose their balance.
  • If the bully is pushing or grabbing you, you may yank one arm using your left hand and strike their elbow with the other. Once they feel dazed, you can then use your other hand to push away the other surrounding arm.

Ignore The Bully

The best way for your bully to stay away from you is for you to ignore them. Pretend that you do not hear them and walk away towards the other direction or to a safer place. Bullies want to receive a grand reaction from their meanness and teasing. Hence, acting as if you do not care about them might just put a stop to their behavior.

Know The Type Of Bully You’re Dealing With

There are various kinds of bullies out there. To be able to know what type of strategy to use, you first have to understand the type of bully you encounter.

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  • Verbal bullies are those who insult you non-stop, make jokes, and call names.
  • Aggressive bullies are those who abuse you physically by kicking, hitting, punching, and pulling your hair.
  • Emotional bullies are those who play with your feelings behind your back. These are the people who spread rumors about you or those who put a “kick me” sign on your back so that others will ridicule you.

According to Aaron Norton, LMHC, LMFT, “The effects of constantly being bullied are more than just psychological. Research now shows that there may be physical structural differences in the brains of adolescents who are regularly victimized, and this could increase the chance that they suffer from mental illness.” Not every suggestion will work for you. Do not lose hope if you try something, but nothing happens. Just stay consistent, and everything will fall into places eventually.