Insensitive. Emotionless. Stone-hearted.
Those were some of the adjectives that my relatives used when talking about me. They heard them from my mom and dad, who always described me that way for as long as I could remember.
I won’t say that I had no idea why my loved ones thought associated such words with me from childhood. My parents wanted me to follow everything they told me to a T. “Share your toys with your sister. Forgive her if she breaks any of them.” “Say hi and make small talk with your aunts and uncles even if they seem to favor your other siblings.” “Keep on studying—we don’t accept A- in this house.”
From a young age, I saw the flaw in those words. I still followed some of my parents’ rules, but not everything. When they realized that their submission tactics won’t work with me, they switched to discouraging me from doing what I want. “You cannot move on the other coast to study; you will not survive there on your own.” “You should not pursue writing; you won’t earn a lot of money.”
At first, my mom and dad’s discouraging got to me. I genuinely doubted if I could achieve the goals that I mapped out for myself. However, I also realized what they were doing and went against the grain and proved them wrong.
Now, I know that my folks are not the only discouraging parents in the world. Anyone can have those, although their approach may be less straightforward than that.
You Cannot Walk On Paved Road Forever
If you think about it, parents do not discourage their kids from doing something because they don’t want the latter to succeed. Their typical objective is to keep them from going through hardships.
Although the intention is sweet, you cannot walk on the road that your mom and dad have paved forever. It is fantastic during your formative years, but it is inadvisable when you are old enough to stand on your feet.
You Learn When You Fail
Parents often say that they will do anything to keep you from harm. Again, that seems likes an incredible sentiment, but the reality is that it won’t be suitable for anyone in the long run.
Without sounding cynical, people sometimes need to get hurt to learn what they should and shouldn’t do. If you grow up without knowing how failing feels, adversities may get the best of you later.
You May Already Be On The Correct Path, And Your Parents Are Hindering It
When your mom and dad instruct you about what profession you should have as an adult, it is most likely something that they want for themselves but can no longer pursue. In this case, they cannot claim to know what’s best for you because your folks cannot see or predict the future. Once you let them get in your head early, they may block the correct path for you.
I did not write this blog to encourage you to stop listening to whatever your parents tell you to do. They are still adults; they know more about the real world than you. Despite that, you also need to figure out if they have a valid point or not before deciding on anything.
In case you wish to follow your mom and dad’s orders all the time, that’s up to you. It is easier than doing otherwise—I get it. But if you disobey them, be sure that you can stand behind your decision so that they will take your ideas seriously.