Something To Think About During Quarantine: Why You Shouldn’t Let Discouraging Parents Discourage You

Insensitive. Emotionless. Stone-hearted.

Those were some of the adjectives that my relatives used when talking about me. They heard them from my mom and dad, who always described me that way for as long as I could remember.


I won’t say that I had no idea why my loved ones thought associated such words with me from childhood. My parents wanted me to follow everything they told me to a T. “Share your toys with your sister. Forgive her if she breaks any of them.” “Say hi and make small talk with your aunts and uncles even if they seem to favor your other siblings.” “Keep on studying—we don’t accept A- in this house.”

From a young age, I saw the flaw in those words. I still followed some of my parents’ rules, but not everything. When they realized that their submission tactics won’t work with me, they switched to discouraging me from doing what I want. “You cannot move on the other coast to study; you will not survive there on your own.” “You should not pursue writing; you won’t earn a lot of money.” 

At first, my mom and dad’s discouraging got to me. I genuinely doubted if I could achieve the goals that I mapped out for myself. However, I also realized what they were doing and went against the grain and proved them wrong.


Now, I know that my folks are not the only discouraging parents in the world. Anyone can have those, although their approach may be less straightforward than that. 

In case you feel troubled because of them, here’s something to think about during quarantine: Why should you not let your mom and dad discourage you from reaching for your dreams?

You Cannot Walk On Paved Road Forever

If you think about it, parents do not discourage their kids from doing something because they don’t want the latter to succeed. Their typical objective is to keep them from going through hardships.

Although the intention is sweet, you cannot walk on the road that your mom and dad have paved forever. It is fantastic during your formative years, but it is inadvisable when you are old enough to stand on your feet. 


You Learn When You Fail

Parents often say that they will do anything to keep you from harm. Again, that seems likes an incredible sentiment, but the reality is that it won’t be suitable for anyone in the long run.

Without sounding cynical, people sometimes need to get hurt to learn what they should and shouldn’t do. If you grow up without knowing how failing feels, adversities may get the best of you later.

You May Already Be On The Correct Path, And Your Parents Are Hindering It

When your mom and dad instruct you about what profession you should have as an adult, it is most likely something that they want for themselves but can no longer pursue. In this case, they cannot claim to know what’s best for you because your folks cannot see or predict the future. Once you let them get in your head early, they may block the correct path for you.


Final Thoughts

I did not write this blog to encourage you to stop listening to whatever your parents tell you to do. They are still adults; they know more about the real world than you. Despite that, you also need to figure out if they have a valid point or not before deciding on anything.

In case you wish to follow your mom and dad’s orders all the time, that’s up to you. It is easier than doing otherwise—I get it. But if you disobey them, be sure that you can stand behind your decision so that they will take your ideas seriously.

Good luck!

How To Better Follow Curfews

Nowadays, parents try to use curfews as a form of instilling discipline onto their children. Luckily, for some households, these curfews can be effortlessly executed. But for others, it can be quite a challenge.

Why Are Curfews Important?

Curfews are the designated time at which children have to be home. They may face repercussions if ever they violate it.

Curfews have existed before as a safety measure for people living in a dangerous area and to avoid violence or unfortunate experiences. Through time, curfews became a parenting strategy to teach kids discipline and responsibility, especially at night.

Some parents find it challenging to make their children follow curfew because of peer pressure or poor time management. Although there are valid reasons that can hold back a child from going home on time, parents cannot help but worry, especially when their children are still out past curfew.


Tips & Tricks To Make Your Children More Prompt

No worries! We heard your problems, and we’re here to help. For parents struggling to make their children comply with established curfews, here are a few tips on how you can make it more fun and exciting.

Set Regular Family Time

Including a “family time” in your daily routine, especially at the end of the day, can help teenagers follow curfews more. You can watch a good movie together, eat with each other, or have a chill story session. These fun activities will remind your teenager to be present and make them look forward to going home and being there on the set family time.

Practice Time Management

It may not have a direct effect, but being keen on time management can significantly affect how one follows curfews. By practicing time-allotted activities at home, your teenager will learn to manage time wisely to follow their schedule in school or at work. This skill is essential in the daily grind. Starting to get adjusted at a young age will help them make it a habit.

Have Incentives

To better encourage teenagers to follow curfews, why not try some incentives? Making teens follow curfews can be exhausting if they do not have any motivation for it. Having “rewards” for complying can be a great way to get them to it.


Allow Them To Be Independent

One common parenting mistake today is making your children very dependent on you. You are denying them the opportunity to be more resourceful, responsible, and accountable. By allowing them to be independent in the little things, their accountability in following curfews may also improve.

Inspire Respect, Not Fear

One issue in making teenagers follow curfews is the threat of punishment upon its violation. It is time for that mindset to end because the best way to make your children comply is by instilling their respect for you. If they go beyond the curfew, it is essential to peacefully and properly process it and not go all-out on them. The way you deal with it will deepen either their respect or hatred for you.

There you have it! These tips and tricks can make imposing curfews a lot easier for you and your growing youngsters. If you are still having trouble with it, talking it through might be a suitable solution too.

A Teacher’s Guide On Handling A Rebellious Teen


The adolescent years are probably the most challenging phase in a teenager’s life. It is the time they’ll defy the wishes of authority figures, disrespect other people, and bully their peers. Some might feel anger, while others might be a little bit self-destructive. As a teacher, you have your fair share in dealing with these teenagers. So, what can you do to address their defiance? Here are some tips on how you can handle your rebellious students.

Enforce Consequences

Do not go easy on these people. Once you have established your classroom rules and regulations, make sure to stick to them and enforce various consequences upon violation. You must also not renege about the punishments that you are willing to give them. Once you do, they will call your bluff, and you will most likely lose your authority.

Focus On The Leader

Believe it or not, there are certain cliques present in the four walls of the classroom. Hence, when you face a group of rebellious individuals, do not waste your time dealing with each member of the group. The recommended strategy is to put your focus on the leader and be firm on him or her. Once you have solved the problem with this specific leader, the others tend to follow.


Another technique you can use is the divide and conquer approach. Try dividing these people physically by assigning them into different groups or by placing them in separate seats via a planned seating arrangement. This strategy will most likely prevent them from ganging up on other people or negatively feeding off each other.

Practice Patience

We are in a fast-paced world where everything is instant: social media postings, microwaved meals, fast food chains, and more. Hence, when we face a series of life challenges, we tend to take the shortcut and solve the issue in a scurry. Unfortunately, handling individuals with disruptive behavior takes a long time. Be patient with them and do not lose your cool in case things do not go as planned.

Focus On One Particular Behavior

There are various ways to rebel, and it will be exhausting for you to try to solve all of these issues at the same time. What you can do is to choose one behavior that bothers you the most. From here, create an action plan that will address that particular behavior.

For example, your student doesn’t do homework every day, curses at everyone in school, and bullies the people around him or her. You have to decide which one you should focus on. Once this behavior is under control, you can then try solving another bothersome behavior.


Get Support

It can be exhausting to be at the forefront of these cases. Therefore, if you feel tired and disappointed with yourself, do not isolate yourself. Instead, ask help from the people around you: the principal, your co-teachers, or even the parents of these teenagers. You will be surprised how much more effective it is to ask the support of these people.

Handling a rebellious teen is challenging. However, the most helpful way to address this problem is to find the perfect balance between empathy and firmness. Once you have established this, everything will be a lot easier.

A Therapist’s Guide On Dealing With Your Bully

Bullying is a big problem, especially when you’re in school. They might abuse you physically by kicking, hitting, or pushing, or they might target your emotions by teasing, scaring, or calling names. Whatever method they use, there’s a significant possibility they’ll make you feel scared, hurt, or embarrassed. If you’re in this situation, what do you think is the best way to face this challenge? Here’s a therapists’ guide on dealing with your bullies.

Get A Buddy

Debbie Pincus MS LMHC insists that “Bullying is really just another form of abuse: it’s about kids using power to control other kids, sometimes with the intention to cause harm.” If you want to avoid getting bullied, look for a buddy who can accompany you in your free time. He or she can walk with you on the hallways, and they can also be there on the way to school, during breaks, or the times you usually meet your bully.


You can also lend a hand to someone getting bullied by being a buddy yourself. Should you experience these bullies hurting your said buddy, you can either stick up for them, ask the help of an adult, or tell the bully to stop.

Be Confident

“Bullies lose their power if you don’t cower. Deep down, they doubt they deserve your respect. They admire you for speaking with self-assurance and confidence. So when they bombard, do not counterpunch. Rather, win them over with your strong, firm, courteous demeanor,” shares Amy Copper Hakim.

So, how do you show your confidence to the other party? Here are the best ways to go about it:

  • Stand tall and do not drop your shoulders
  • Talk to the bully while looking at them straight in the eye
  • Do not show any other unnecessary small movements
  • Smile

Tell An Adult

If you experience bullying in school, make sure to call the attention of both your teacher and parents. In the case of your teacher, he or she can use the specific school protocol for intervening. He or she has the authority to inform the parents of the offenders of what has been happening.


On the other hand, your parents can also help you with dealing with the bully. In case you’re not comfortable with going straight to the school administrators, they can be the bridge for you to be able to send the message to them. They can also be the ones who will approach the bully’s parents through calling or emailing in a non-confrontational way.

Remember, whenever you report a person or incidence, you have to be specific about the details of what happened for them to be able to act on it appropriately.

Take Martial Arts Lessons

realize that “There is no remorse or “just kidding.” The final hallmark of bullying behavior is the intent and knowledge that they can, and likely will, do it again and can purposely keep people on guard.” Paul Schwartzman, LMHC, MS, DAPA said. As a defense mechanism, you can consider taking Ju-Jitsu, Karate, Taekwondo, Judo, Aikido, Kung Fu, or something similar. This skill will not only give you an advantage during combat, but it’ll also boost your confidence and improve your physique. Bullies like to take on those individuals who they perceive as someone weaker than them. Hence, radiating a battle aura from these martial arts lessons can deter them.

If you’re not comfortable in enrolling in these lessons, you may opt to learn several self-defense moves.

  • Kicking the groin will surprise the person and look embarrassed long enough to plan for a takedown or escape.
  • You may also attack the area below the ribs called solar plexus or kick a knee to make them lose their balance.
  • If the bully is pushing or grabbing you, you may yank one arm using your left hand and strike their elbow with the other. Once they feel dazed, you can then use your other hand to push away the other surrounding arm.

Ignore The Bully

The best way for your bully to stay away from you is for you to ignore them. Pretend that you do not hear them and walk away towards the other direction or to a safer place. Bullies want to receive a grand reaction from their meanness and teasing. Hence, acting as if you do not care about them might just put a stop to their behavior.

Know The Type Of Bully You’re Dealing With

There are various kinds of bullies out there. To be able to know what type of strategy to use, you first have to understand the type of bully you encounter.


  • Verbal bullies are those who insult you non-stop, make jokes, and call names.
  • Aggressive bullies are those who abuse you physically by kicking, hitting, punching, and pulling your hair.
  • Emotional bullies are those who play with your feelings behind your back. These are the people who spread rumors about you or those who put a “kick me” sign on your back so that others will ridicule you.

According to Aaron Norton, LMHC, LMFT, “The effects of constantly being bullied are more than just psychological. Research now shows that there may be physical structural differences in the brains of adolescents who are regularly victimized, and this could increase the chance that they suffer from mental illness.” Not every suggestion will work for you. Do not lose hope if you try something, but nothing happens. Just stay consistent, and everything will fall into places eventually.

Bullies Need Help Too

We all know that bullying is a bad thing. It is the act of intentionally hurting someone without a particular reason. The victims suffer not only in physical and emotional aspects but also are at risk with potential mental damage as well. It’s an awful thing that most young adults experience everywhere at school, online, and even at home. That explains the reason why bullies are to be blamed for their victims’ anxiety and depression, isolation, and self-destruction. However, psychology experts believe that bullies are also victims themselves. That their actions also depend on the variety of trauma they experienced once or twice in their lives. 


Continue reading “Bullies Need Help Too”

2 Memory-Enhancing Tips For Forgetful Teenagers


The lame excuses that parents get from kids who always come late are enough to make you want to sign up for therapy. Say, when teenagers are supposed to be home by seven o’clock in the evening, and they fail to follow the curfew, the standard reply that you will get is “I’m sorry, I forgot.” If you ask why they have not called or texted their reason beforehand, you may hear them utter, “I did not think about it.”

Considering you no longer want to lose your temper over the forgetfulness of your teens, here are a couple of memory-enhancing tips you can recommend to them.


“Sleep helps your brain work properly. While you’re sleeping, your brain processes complex stimuli,” says Staci Lee Schnell, MS, CS, LMFT. If you think that two or three hours of sleep is enough for any person, think again. Even if someone who gets very little rest can be called as nocturnal already, you are still not a full-bloom night owl. Besides, owls sleep all morning since they do not have work or family or classes to attend to; that’s why they have all the right to be awake all night long. However, as a human being, you have other responsibilities that require your 1000% focus. Sleep is needed to be able to rejuvenate your body and mind from all the kinds of stress that you have gone through that day.


You see, our body follows the pattern of the rising and setting of the sun so we can only be awake for 16 hours, and it is normal for us to feel sleepy after that. Now, the problem that for most nocturnal people is that they fight their sleepiness. I know this because I have done it may more than a dozen time already when I need to finish some paperwork at school. Well, when it is urgent like that, it will be okay to sleep for less than eight hours. As for petty activities like gaming or chatting, though, they can both wait until the morning comes so that you can regain your energy in the night and have stronger memory.


Being organized is bliss—that is what your kids should know by now. The first time I lived in the dorms with my seven other roommates (yeah, that’s a lot), they were all going crazy over my messiness. My clothes were strewn underneath the bed, which was always rumpled or skewed. My gizmos were either on the table or top of the shoe rack; my towel that should be hung outside was still inside my closet.

In truth, I was going crazy as well since it was not infrequent that I got late for my first class because I could not find my book or my shoes from all of that mess. After six months, my roommates who were now my friends said that they had enough of my clutter, so they helped me haul everything out and started segregating my possessions. To be specific, they found the ones that could go at the foot of my bed, beside it, and inside my closet. On top of that, they gave me a cool basket where I could put all of my electronic cables so that they were not hanging everywhere.


I am long gone from the dorms now, but I still have that urge always to keep my things in order. I hope that you will not think that I am exaggerating when I say this, but I do have a “blueprint” of my room posted at the back of my door where I can see everything I own. This way, I won’t feel stressed about searching for any particular thing in there.

Sandi Lindgren PCC, LICSW once said, “Early adolescents (ages 12-14), middle adolescents (ages 15-17), and late adolescents (ages 18-20) all have different needs from their caregivers based on where they are at developmentally.” With that, you don’t necessarily have an obsessive-compulsive disorder when you start putting little labels on your cupboards to indicate which has the plates and which has the casseroles. Instead, it is a way of helping yourself not to strain over minor things like that in the future. Forgetful teenagers should learn about that early as well.

Final Thoughts

It is common for teenagers to make excuses for coming home late. You have been an adolescent once; you know how fun it can be to stay with friends after classes. “The secret formula lies in effective discipline. The concept may be easy to grasp, but the execution is what often trips up parents,” says Linda Esposito, LCSW. However, if your children genuinely seem to be more forgetful than average, be sure to suggest the two memory-enhancing tips to them.

Writing Therapy For Rebellious Teenagers


Teenage rebellion and defiance is not a new concept for us, especially for parents. Most of us correlate this with constant yelling, shoplifting, slamming doors, and coming home beyond curfew hours. Most teenagers undergo this phase. Hence, it is crucial to understand why your teen is acting this way to be able to address this issue properly fully.


Why Do Teenagers Rebel?

 All teenagers go through similar phases more or less. It’s part of growing up. This similar phase usually starts with the need for independence and freedom, understanding their own identity, and testing their authority. According to Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC, “Rebellion in teens can be secretive or obvious depending on the personality of the teenager and the circumstances.” Some of this defiance is also linked to brain developmental changes and social pressures. Here are some of the reasons why teenagers rebel:


  • Brain Developmental Changes

 As a person enters teenage years, a part of his or her brain called prefrontal cortex is developing. This part of the brain is a person’s judgment center and thinking cap. The prefrontal cortex is where each teenager develops his or her ideas and ideals. As the prefrontal cortex develops, it is more capable of synthesizing information into ideas – leading to more arguments and discussions.


  • Identity Crisis

 When children enter their adolescent years, they usually question their own identity. They typically retort to questioning themselves with their purpose in life, what they are supposed to be doing, who they really are, and more. They usually try new things in this phase to be able to find answers in the said questions. They even retort to unwanted actions as a way to establish their own identity. According to Dr. Clayton Lessor, Licensed Professional Counselor “the best way to deal with teenage rebellion is (employing) natural consequences.”

  • Independence

 Struggling for their freedom and independence may be one of the underlying reasons for teenage rebellion. As they move into their adolescence stages, they expect more space from their family, especially with their parents. This demand is normal for every teenager. Bella Stitt, LMFT says “During adolescence, teens experience rapid physical, mental, intellectual, emotional, and social developmental changes. In addition, teens are often faced with a brand-new set of responsibilities and privileges, causing them to swing back and forth between dependence and independence.”


However, the rebellion starts when some parents unconsciously confuse rebellion with independence. For example, many parents do now allow their kids to hang out in malls since they are scared that their children might get into trouble. This move might eventually force your teenagers to sneak out without permission.


How Does Writing Therapy Help Rebellious Teenagers?

Writing therapy, also called journal therapy, is an approach utilized by various therapists to guide teenagers into verbalizing their feelings and emotions in written words. This exercise is usually used to open a conversation between therapists and their respective patients. Writing therapy includes creating the following:


  • Humorous stories
  • Poetry
  • Short stories
  • Narratives
  • Dialogues
  • Free space journals


This kind of treatment approach usually determines the teen’s recurring problems and work through these painful feelings. By knowing what the roots of their rebellious actions are, it would be easier for the therapist to come up with strategies that can help them overcome these challenges. In addition, writing therapy also helps relieve stress and make connections between their behaviors and their feelings.


Examples Of Writing Therapy

 Any teenager facing life challenges can do try writing therapy. In this therapy, they are free to express whatever they are feeling or whatever comes into their minds. Listed below are some of the examples of writing therapy:


  • Write a story about your own life. It can be fictional but make sure that the character mirrors some part of you.
  • Create a letter to an individual that you feel angry at. It can help you to sort out your feelings towards them.
  • Write a poem that can help you express your negative emotions.
  • Start a daily diary where you can confide in your feelings. This practice can help you understand yourself more by reading your past entries.


There are several other ways to address a teenagers’ rebellion. Writing therapy can be a start. Take note, however, that journaling is not enough. It may help them express their emotions privately, but some teenagers may require extra help in interpreting and taking action on their journal entries through trained therapists. Hopefully, undergoing this process may help them deviate from their rebellious acts.



What Teens Get Out Of Curfews

Many parents and teens debate over whether curfews are productive or not. Some say that it establishes responsibility. Some believe that it’s too controlling over teenagers, and only encourages rebellion.


Those on the fence may say that it’s beneficial to set a general time when kids should be home, but allow them to break it now and then. Whichever side you’re on as a parent or a teenager, it always bests that it’s discussed, with the interests of each party being considered.

Teenagers should be empowered to have some say on this issue. Certain conditions can be set, and a compromise can be made. Some teenagers even argue that they feel like they benefit from a curfew. Here are some of the things that teens believe to be the advantages of curfews.

Gets Them Out of Crime

It isn’t so much about being involved in crime. It’s about teens avoiding being exposed to criminal activities. Admittedly, an offense doesn’t only take place at night. However, the propensity of violent crime tends to go up after the sun sets.

Teens who may find themselves walking home alone at night may risk getting mugged and hurt. Establishing a general time for them to be home by lessens the possibility of them being exposed to crime.

Lets Them Avoid Drugs and Alcohol

Anyone who’s seen a college party – on TV or in person – or any movie about teen parties knows that there’s likely to be alcohol involved somehow. While we can still teach our children right about drugs and alcohol – whether banning it or allowing it in moderation – we know that we can’t keep watch over them all the time.

Teens may be smart enough to know to avoid it, but peer pressure is a real thing. At the same time, some people may be tricked into taking something they’re not fully aware of. Again, this may happen at any time of the day, but the odds of it happening go up at night. Avoid your teens becoming exposed to this kind of environment by having them follow a general curfew.


Allows Them To Get More Sleep

Sleep is something we tend to take for granted. As kids, we dreamt about the times we wouldn’t have a bedtime, and we could just stay up all night. At some point, usually around college, we tend to cherish the moments we get to sleep. Even more so as adults, we tend to regret not having a healthy sleep schedule.

By setting a curfew, we help our teens get more sleep. While we can’t be sure that they go to bed when they’re at home, we lessen the things that might keep them up late at night.

Establishes Routine

Ever wonder why we find it so difficult to get out of bed sometimes? Or why we can’t manage to motivate ourselves to start a new project? The reason maybe is that it’s relatively new to us and we haven’t gotten used to it yet. Maybe we slept in over the weekend or stayed up too late.


However, notice that as you do something more often, you get used to it. It becomes significantly easier to get stuff done after you’ve done it for a while. This is also applied to teens with a curfew. By setting a time for them to be home by, you also establish a sense of routine. It’s likely that they’ll be asleep earlier and be up more prior.

It’ll also be possible that if they can consistently follow something such as a curfew, they can also support other simple goals and tasks for themselves in the future. They’ll be able to develop a routine that they set for themselves, guided by their curfew.

As a contribution on your side as a parent, you can also try working with and contacting a professional therapist to bring their expert perspective to the table. There’s no shame in asking for help as long as it’s beneficial for you and your kids.

Things You Didn’t Know Were Fun Before Getting The Curfew


Everything just starts to suck once your parents hand you that curfew. But while you’re busy moping, there are a whole lot of things you can do even while at home. You just have to be creative, and you’ll see the fun out of it.    Continue reading “Things You Didn’t Know Were Fun Before Getting The Curfew”

Adolescent Bedtime Routine

Adolescents and bedtime routine – can this exist? For most youngsters, they have a routine at night, but as soon as they get older and reach that tough adolescent phase, all of that goes out the window! However, isn’t it just as important to have bedtime routines for these older children too? Well, yes it is but unfortunately, parents don’t enforce it as much since their teenage children may run riot. So, how to deal with adolescents and their possible bedtime routine?

How to Deal with Adolescent Bed Routine

First of all, apart from seeking help from free online counseling, you have to sit down with your child and explain to him calmly why it’s necessary to have a bedtime routine. He will not like the idea of that so, be prepared. You also have to listen to your child and let him voice his opinion, too. Meet halfway, if you must. But, the point here is to establish a decent night time routine.

What Is An Appropriate Time For Adolescents?

If it’s a school night, there should be a limit, say no later than 11 o’clock. This can be a fairly decent time, especially if the teenager gets up early in the morning. However, for weekends or holidays, midnight curfew isn’t too bad. They can sleep a little longer in the morning and still remain fresh for the day ahead. If you’re unsure of what time is appropriate for adolescents, then, ask around. Or better yet, try it at home with your teenager. You could have one week set at one time and see how the children react in the morning; whether they’re still tired or if they are fresh. It’s a simple way to ensure everyone is happy and gets a good night sleep.

Does A Routine Matter?

teensParents often struggle with enforcing a bedtime routine for adolescents and usually give up, though they could seek the help of online counseling if this particular issue is hard to grasp. It’s a common problem for most households and yet it’s vital for all children to have a routine. You might think adolescents and teens are too old for that but in truth, they aren’t and they really need it. With a simple routine in place, you’ll know that your child is going to bed at a sensible hour. We all know what it’s like to wake up tired and cranky. It starts the day off badly and when you are a young individual going to school tired, it’s never a good thing. That is why it’s wise to look into a bedtime routine so that you are assured of a restful sleep for your child.

Routines Are Necessary

When your child doesn’t have a bedtime routine in place, he will be cranky and tired in the morning. This is one of the reasons why a routine must be established because your child will not learn anything in school if he is tired, sleepy, groggy or irritable from lack of shut eye. If you are struggling to control your child or if your child is displaying behavioral problems, you have to seek online counseling from a reputable company. You won’t regret it.